HYDRANGEAS AND OTHER STUPID PLANTS

Plastic is a miraculous material. Versatile, durable, and pretty much responsible for almost every modern convenience you can think of. While, I obviously appreciate plastic’s unique properties, they have no business in the landscape. Which is why I get pretty t’d-off when the profession as a whole seems to be forever moving in an increasingly plastic direction. In fairness this isn’t a recent trend, people have long been selecting against the ephemerality that makes gardens such a cool thing to create. But it’s understandable once you think about it. Why wouldn’t you want to prolong the time you have to experience something beautiful?; vibrant blooms in the heat of summer, lush green foliage in the dead of winter, but the unfortunate reality is nothing worth having comes without a price.

Which brings me to the hydrangeas, specifically H. macrophylla. They’re a pretty solid staple of the ornamental horticultural industry, especially with the introduction of the new mophead hydrangea ‘Endless Summer’ several years ago that blooms reliably through zone 4 with its unique ability to flower on both new and old wood (previous cultivars only flowered on old wood). Now don’t get me wrong, they’re beautiful, easy to grow, and very floriferous, but in our effort to perfect the perfect plant, we lost the very thing that the plant put so much effort into advertising in the first place,.... rich nectar stores for foraging bees, butterflies and other pollinators.

Two things you might not be aware of: 1. All mopheads are a human selected mutations that don’t exist outside of cultivation and, 2. The showy part of the hydrangea inflorescence is sterile, meaning it produces no nectar, no pollen, nor is it capable of producing any viable seed. Not surprisingly the flowers of a mophead are so showy because they are composed entirely of these big flashy sterile florets that were meant to attract pollinators to the smaller, significantly less showy fertile flowers which are entirely absent, so they’re basically the botanical equivalent of a tease. One big empty promise.


Hydrangea macrophylla (aka Bigleaf Hydrangea): Mophead Inflorescence (left), Lacecap Inflorescence (right)

The point is, that as our functioning endemic habitats continue to shrink, the left over bits of space we have to work with should be full of hyper-functional (preferably native) plants, not horticultural monstrosities that have become nothing more than transpiring heaps of perverted eye-candy. Beyond that, I believe that when actual species are used rather than some over selected, over hybridized, over breed cultivar, this utility translates in the feel of the space. Most people, whether they realize it or not, can perceive the sustainability of a design. There’s something about a space that can persist outside of our weedwackers, leaf blowers and chemical fertilizers that is both comforting and calming. This is why, at least in my humble opinion, there is no more lofty a goal for a designer than to create a place that has the ability to thrive and weave itself into the existing fabric of a place, until the fact that it was designed at all is entirely unperceivable. In short, go with a lacecap or at least the lacecap alternative to ‘Endless Summer,’ ‘Let’s Dance Starlight.’ Still pretty for people, plenty of food for the bees, and they wont flop over when it rains.

And for your entertainment.... more plants that we've screwed up!


Delphinium


Tulip


Rosa rugosa