The pseudo-branches of T. radicans in full fall splendor using adjacent trees as a scaffold.
So with the unavoidable ascendancy of the evil pumpkin king (aka the Trump) and the coming nuclear Trump-ocolypse® I thought I'd pay homage to one of the plants that will surely thrive after the nuclear holocaust and eventually usurp the great Trumpkin on its path to world domination. Toxicodendron radicans aka Poison Ivy aka our future plant overlord aka the current bane of my existence is quite ubiquitous 'round my neck of the woods (literally... its f***ing everywhere in the woods) and like many gardeners in the northeast I have gone to battle many times with this plant and always come back the loser.
Despite the ongoing war, my respect for this wondrous creature remains constant. It is the only plant I know of that can be found in both highly disturbed successionary as well as pristine climax plant communities (and everything in between). Sun, shade, dry, wet, vertical, horizontal; this plant's fine tuned genetics give it a level of phenotypic plasticity that is unparalleled in the plant world (or at least in the northeast anyway). It's an outlier in habitat succession & evolution in its ability to persist in whatever conditions it finds itself in, and simply adapts in place. Add this steel like constitution with the ability to cause one of the most uncomfortable and nasty looking allergic reactions around (and potentially disfiguring/life threatening if the reaction is severe enough) and you start to think that its super villain name-sake is actually no match for the actual plant... suck it Uma. So to go along with this super toxic, super adaptable plant I give you few other resolute toxic beauties east of the rockies that are a bit more people friendly (unless you eat them... but now you know better... so don't). Anyway if you like to live dangerously and more traditional plants just aren't cutting it, give one of these guys a try.
Aconitum uncinatum - Climbing Monkshood, Southern Blue Monkshood
Zones 5-8
The lore surrounding this genus's use as a potent poison dates back to about as long as people have had written language. As toxic as it is beautiful, A. uncinatum is no exception and one of the best garden subjects of the handful of species that call North America home. At its best when it has a few sturdy neighbors to ramble through and shade it during the hottest times of the day and like every other member of the genus not a fan of drought (or even moderately dry soil for that matter).
Purchase from: Enchanter's Garden, Far Reaches Farm
Eupatorium rugosum syn. Ageratina altissima - White Snakeroot
Zones 4-9
Despite my darndest attempt to stay strong, I've given in to temptation and left this plant in the garden which I'm sure I will more than regret as I pull up hundreds upon hundreds of seedlings that will inevitably pop up on every square inch of bare soil within shooting distance. Aggressive self seeders to say the least and also as far as I can tell, super toxic. One of the few plants that I have never seen get even a nibble. The cause of milk sickness, which was attributed to thousands of deaths of early European settlers in the east until someone had the foresight to ask the people who had lived here for thousands upon thousands of years prior. We thanked them by stealing their land and forgetting the name of the Shawnee woman who may have prevented thousands more from being poisoned.
Purchase from: Morning Sky Greenery, Prairie Moon Nursery, American Meadows, White Flower Farm, Niche Gardens, Forest Farm, Lazy S'S Farm, New Garden Plants, Secret Garden Growers
Euphorbia corollata - Flowering Spurge
Zones 3-9
I do my best to try to look at my clay soils as an asset, and while I do a pretty good job most of the time this is one of the plants that sends me a bit off course. But, if you are blessed with sterile freely draining soil you owe it to yourself to grow this plant. It shares the milky irritating latex typical of the genus that oozes from any part of the plant if cut, torn, or otherwise munched on. Unlike the other members its the actual petals rather than bracts that are the showy part of the inflorescence. Spectacular fall color, perhaps one of the best of any native herbaceous perennial in our flora.
Purchase from: Prairie Moon, Avant Gardens, Everwilde Farms, Heritage Flower Farm, Lazy S'S Farm, Niche Gardens, Plant Delights, Midwest Groundcovers, Ion Exchange, Rare Find Nursery, Agrecol
Oxytropis lambertii - Purple Locoweed
Zones 3-8
So named for the behavioral effect it has on livestock after it causes irreversible neurological damage once consumed. However the active toxin (swainsonine) is only produced in association with a symbiotic fungus. Ranchers once offered bounties for this plant and its relatives in the range lands of the west, but so long as cattle aren't an issue, and you have a dry sunny bit of land to keep this guy happy, a very worthy long lived garden subject.
Purchase from: Everwilde Farms, Prairie Moon
Toxicodendron radicans - Poison Ivy
Zones 4-10
See overly elaborate description at the top of the page.
Purchase from: WHY?!!!
Veratrum viride - Green False Hellebore
Zones 3-8
It and its brother from another mother (Symplocarpus foetidus) are quite the pair. Both emerge early and herald the triumphant return of spring with lush bold foliage that gives northeastern forests a tropical, almost primordial feel early in the season. The only problem with springing to life when there's not much other green around is your an easy target so V. viride employs a toxic alkaloid that makes it a little less appealing to voracious winter starved herbivores.
Purchase from: Could only find one western source :/ Far Reaches Farm
IMAGE SOURCES: A. uncinatum (LEFT, RIGHT); E. corollata (LEFT, RIGHT, BOTTOM); O. lambertii (LEFT, RIGHT); V. viride (LEFT, RIGHT)
